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29 marzo scaryI removed most of the pictures from my album because I think it might scare anyone who accidently stumbles into my site.
Ironically no one ever sees this site, at least no one who knows me.
Hee hee hee!
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 26 marzo Diphenhydramine HClIt is 5:48 at night and I can't fall asleep so I took five diphenhydramine hydrochloride tablets all at once. If I end up dead tomorrow then at least you will know why.
(Though I don't think only five tablets can kill you, because I once asked the pharmacist if twenty sleeping pills can kill you, and he said yes. So if it takes twenty pills to kill you, then five certainly can't. There is a flaw in this logic somewhere, but i don't know what.. I tried to ask him if ten pills can kill you, but then he said I was being stupid.)
But on the other hand, five pills could be fatal, because yesterday I took four tablets at once, and two days before that I took three at once, and two tablets on the days before that.
Then tomorrow I will take six and then seven then eight then nine and then I will have to buy a whole new bottle of these white, bitter-tasting tablets that are so huge, that to swallow five at once left me with an uncomfortable knot in my throat and almost made me throw up.
evilYesterday at lunch we were talking about wanting to eat chicken so I said to my brother that with all chickens they get their head butchered off and the blood squirts out like a fountain, and the chicken runs in circles without its head for ten minutes while the blood keeps squirting out and everything is covered in blood, because the blood squirts out and the chicken flaps its wings in agony while the blood squirts out from its neck.
So Victor said that he doesn't want to eat chicken anymore.
I began to talk about cows and pigs but he got angry and told me to stop. So I did.
Today we had KFC for lunch though, and he really enjoyed his chicken wrap.
I also put a hole through my chemistry textbook.
The hole runs for several hundred pages and afterwards I said to my textbook, "You can't feel a single thing. You don't have feelings and you are not alive."
It was very liberating as I don't want to believe anymore that books had feelings.
But somehow I feel overwhelmed by guilt as I have hurt an innocent textbook, for no reason at all. 24 marzo todayToday I spent exactly an hour gazing into empty space, while sitting on the floor and blinking involuntarily every couple of minutes. Then I spent another hour at the mall and bought tweezers, because my last one died. Then I spent another hour plucking every single hair from my legs, even my knees, but not my eyebrows, even though this is what tweezers are manufactured for, because my eyebrows are unbelievably bushy right now and they add to my menacing demeanor. I would love it if there is a bratty child in the bus and he is whining, "But mommy, I do NOT want to go to grandma's house!" And I would give him a cold, menacing stare from across the bus and the child starts crying. This child is too spoiled and self-centered to understand that his grandmother eagerly awaits him with homemade cookies, and that she gave up her Bingo Saturday so she could be with her grandchild. 19 marzo Can't think straight anymoreI hate myself and want to die.
I hate myself and want to die.
I hate myself and want to die.
Yesterday I was reading Van Gogh's biography. Apparently he cut off his ear and went to an asylum and later killed himself.
Today I thought about cutting my own ear off, but I'm starting to think it's not a good idea because it wouldn't make me an original, interesting person. Copying Van Gogh would not make me an original, interesting person. Also, I might really be sent to a mental institution, and I will probably cut off my other ear too while I'm in there because of boredom; there is absolutely nothing to do in there except to sleep and watch television.
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