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June 27

I feel lonely today

I know it's pathetic to feel sorry for myself but I just do.

At times like this I just want to crawl into bed and forget to breathe, forget to keep my heart beating.

I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

Instead of studying for the coming midterm exams I Googled "suicide notes", and some of the notes that I read made me even sadder.

For instance there was this note, written by a father to his son:

Jimmy!

Remember what I told you and always respect, protect and obey your mother and always remember that I love you so much. I am going to leave you forever because I am too sick to go on. God bless you my Son and when your time comes to go to Heaven you will find your ole Pappy waiting for you.

Daddy

This note made me sad because he tries to reassure his son by saying that he will wait for him "in heaven"... and I've been taught that suicides are condemned to hell. I wish God would forgive this man but I've been brought up as a Roman Catholic and I have my doubts...

2008

2:46 AM | Blog it

Comments (3)

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	Mariewrote: Awesome point Spyder, good one! I don't belong to no religion and have never read the bible, did once, I think it was a coupe of pages during bordom at a wedding lol. But since no one really knows what happens after death, who is anyone to judge where we go and what happens after we die, even one with higher power from above. I believe in after life and it's our choice to decide, not anyone elses, but once we're outside our body after death, how do we know? *Good blog lol, difficult subject lol! Hope all is well!* *Big hugs,* *Marie!* Nov. 20
	Leswrote: Hello there, I was just blog surfing and came across yours. You sound very intelligent, but why do you want to die? You certainly are not an ugly person, not on the outside or the inside. You have a lot to offer, you need to channel your mental energies in a more focused way so you can learn to enjoy your life. Do you feel rejected by your parents? I was, but I have since learned to live very well with out them. But the answer to what happens after death is in the bible, where it clearly states that we all are returning to the dust, that we don't think or feel anything at all, much like going into a deep sleep. I have read the bible several times although I am do not belong to any religion. I find it is comforting during rough times. Anyway, take care, and try to have a good weekend.... ;-) June 28
	Spyderwrote: I was brought up Roman Catholic too. I was taught that suicide is wrong. But then I think... if God is all forgiving and loves us all, then why would he not forgive a moment of weakness or insanity? What kind of a God condemns you to hell for ending suffering, easing financial burden on your loved ones (being sick is very expensive). I don't think suicide is the answer of course (although I do believe in being allowed the choice to commit suicide if you are in the end stages of a terribly debilitating terminal illness) Think about this: How does one know that suffering will end after death? You are taught many things about the afterlife. But no one knows for sure what happens after you die! June 27

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